Musings & Threads. Beautiful Memories.

Dec 11

Dec 11 Musings & Threads. Beautiful Memories.

Life Ramblings, Love, Musings & Threads, Angela Rieck

Beautiful Memories

I started wearing my engagement ring on my left hand. I have decided that I love the ring and the memory that it evokes; so I am not going to hide it in a drawer anymore.

One of the most isolated duties of widows and widowers is to decide what to do with the wedding rings. Some widows wear them, just as they had when they were married; others remove them immediately; still others wear their husband’s wedding band on a necklace. People who haven’t experienced this loss mistakenly believe that choosing to wear your rings means that you are not moving on. That is simply not true, love doesn’t end when someone dies (don’t you still love a deceased family member?) and wearing the rings is simply a sweet memory of a previous life. For me, removing the ring was akin to ripping off the Band-Aid, something that I had to do to acknowledge that the life that I planned was gone.

But I recently began wearing my engagement ring because I have always loved the ring, both its beauty and its memory. My husband picked it out, I was completely unaware of its existence or his plans. We understood that we were two similar souls with radically different life experiences; but we hadn’t really talked about marriage. One day, at his condo, we were arguing and he asked me if we could stop arguing, so that he could propose to me. Of course, having NTBR (Need to Be Right), I insisted that he see my viewpoint first, which he quickly did. He showed me this beautiful, stunningly simple ring, I gasped and insisted that it was too much, we should get something less expensive, but this was the one that he wanted to give to me. I remember at that moment, feeling fear, I was committing to something for the rest of my life, was this something that I could do? But somehow, I summoned my inner courage and said yes.

So the ring is both a beautiful piece of jewelry and a beautiful memory. Because beautiful memories are created when we accept the blessings that we are offered.

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Angela Rieck

I WAS an executive of a large insurance company, a Ph.D. in Mathematical Psychology (go Terps!), a mother, a wife, a community leader, a volunteer, an animal rescuer, a friend and a philosopher. I used to be funny, smart, with a keen eye for the absurdities of life. But now I feel defined by what I have lost, my career, my husband (who died from cancer August 2015), my 35+ year life in Morristown, NJ, possessions (stolen), volunteer work, two of my beloved dogs, my parents, friends, but most of all, my purpose. What remains is an amazing 25 year old daughter and the daunting task of creating a new life. I am fortunate enough to spend time in Key West, FL and St. Michaels MD. While trying to understand these 2½ years of loss, I started to chronicle my feelings, thoughts and philosophies. I wrote to communicate, to understand, to reflect, to find a direction. People who read my posts said, “you are a writer,” so I am grasping onto this skill to find where it takes me. I am grateful for what remains, my daughter, my family, my friends, my husband’s family…and I will keep my promise to my husband to build on what is left. Thank you for allowing me to share this journey with you.