Musings & Threads. Aging (not so) Gracefully

Aug 21

Aug 21 Musings & Threads. Aging (not so) Gracefully

Life Ramblings, Musings & Threads, Donna Wetjen

Aging (not so) Gracefully

“Getting old is not for sissies.” I have said this very thing to at least 4 friends and family members in the past month and it is the absolute truth. It is also a statement that I pepper with various expletives not suitable for this post. I have never been vain, but man oh man - some days I look in the mirror or at a picture of myself and think to myself “why do my eyes look so squinty now” or “when did these jowls start to sag” or even the ever so horrifying “when did my neck start to wrinkle?” It happened slowly and suddenly all at once and that is the scary part. The hormones slowly slow down and weight and wrinkles quickly creep up. Even my hands look older (“old”, in my brain when I think about it). I look at my hands and think “my hands look like my mother’s hands.” A good and bad thing all at the same time.

Let’s talk about the weight gain and miscellaneous and sundry aches and pains now, shall we? Well, on second thought. That’s really all that needs to be said about that isn’t it……How about how men tend to look better with that touch of grey (grey highlights on me, as I like to call them) and wrinkles around their eyes. It’s even sexy, (insert expletive string here and be creative!).

Don’t get me wrong. I feel grateful and privileged to still be here to complain and commiserate about getting old, but at times, it’s all a tough pill to swallow. Looking at the younger me and the older me I think mostly about my eyes, oddly. My eyes used to be my “thing.” The “thing” that drew men to me like moths to a flame. The big sparkling green eyes that apparently beckoned men to come talk to me from across a crowded bar as a young, single woman. The eyes with perfect, not-wrinkled eyelids that I batted at men as a woman looking for my soul mate, my lifetime partner. The husband who would forever tell me that my eyes are beautiful just as my heart is (for the record, I snagged that one). Or maybe it was my boobs that attracted men to me? Either way, both of these physical attributes have begun the journey south - paradoxically like old people moving from New York to Florida.

It happened slowly and suddenly all at once I feel. It’s because of this that I say “getting old is not for sissies.” I will share this advice given to me as a young woman in my 20s at a Mary Kay party, when Mary Kay parties were a “thing.” Use a good, moisturizer and eye cream. “Apply moisturizer in an upward motion to give yourself a daily facelift.” She had perfect skin and may have been 108 years old at the time for all I know. I should have listened. Man, I should have listened. There was no advice for boobs from the ancient Mary Kay lady, unfortunately.

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Donna Wetjen

Donna grew up on Long Island, the youngest child of two deaf parents. Her childhood was somewhat of a role reversal as she was the person who communicated with the outside world and made sure her parents were okay and not being taken advantage of. Donna believes that witnessing and experiencing the cruelty and discrimination toward people who are “different” shaped her into the compassionate person she is today.

Starting in banking at 16, Donna worked her way up the corporate ladder from Bank Teller to Director of Branch Operations for an East End bank. This position allowed her to feed one of her passions - writing - as she managed many of the Bank’s policies and procedures. Banking did not however, do much for Donna’s other great passions – rescuing animals and cooking.

Feeling lost and alone after her mother passed away from breast and ovarian cancer, on a whim and in the throes of grief, she and her husband sold their LI home and moved to a little house on 17 acres in the rural mountains of North Carolina. Here Donna was able to begin to feed her other passions, as they started a small hobby farm with mostly rescued animals of every variety including sheep, mini-horses, chickens, dogs, cats and a blind chicken named Winky. Shortly after moving there, Donna was diagnosed with breast cancer. After a grueling year-long regimen of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, Donna is happily cancer-free, but forever changed. She now spends her time nourishing all of the things that make her soul happy. She has a small organic garden and has learned the fine art of canning. She spends a good deal of time making up, changing or combining recipes to test on her husband, with considerable success. Donna is currently in the process of writing 2 books based upon her experiences with both cancer and rescuing animals. Donna loves her volunteer work at the county shelter and rescue organization, and is proud of her lifetime of advocacy that began as a child in support of her parents and continues today through her rescue and volunteer work.