My Whole World. Episode 16.

My Whole World is the sixth series in the Dusty Town original historical fiction sequence written by Mary Ann DiLorenzo. Set in rural Kansas just prior to the turn of the century and continuing through the early 1900s, the series follows the Strong family through the challenges and joys of life in Midwest America.

Making Sense of it All. Episode 16.

“It is a pretty night, Betty Lou. Thank you for walking with me tonight.” Jacob smiled at her, and Betty Lou smiled back.

The sky was still blue, that fading into brightness blue that accompanies the impending sunset in their neck of the woods. Soon the yellows and oranges and reds and purples would be dancing across the sky the way it does in that rural Kansas dusty little town.

For a while Jacob and Betty Lou just kept walking amid the backdrop of the setting sun’s beauty. Then Betty Lou said, “Jacob I’ve never had a child of my own, but I think I understand a little of what you’re going through. I think of Jason, how I’d miss him so! How every day I would look down the road, wishing so much to see him coming home again. The reasons were different I know, but I never could really make sense of it all. Reckon that’s why I kept looking down that road, thinking an answer would come.

“Over time, I didn’t look for an answer anymore. I reckon I just accepted it for what it was. The scar wouldn’t go away, but somehow I was stronger for it. The pain didn’t hurt quite as much as it used to. I was able to spend more time looking forward than looking back.”

They kept along the dusty road in silence for a while. “You know, Betty Lou. It’s kinda like losing Maddie in a way. Only I’m not blaming myself this time. I’m just sad he’s gone and I do so hope his heart leads him back. I know wherever he chooses to live will be the best for him. I just hope it’s the best for me too. I’m sorry for sounding so selfish Betty Lou.”

“I know you are Jacob.” Betty Lou waited for Jacob to finish what was on his mind.

“Thank you dear for listening to me and trying to help me.” Jacob continued, “It seems you have been doing that my whole life. What a burden I must have been, all these years!” Jacob smiled and Betty Lou smiled back.

“Not at all, Jacob, not at all. It’s been the joy of my life, still is. For a moment Jacob, I want you to remember when you first came back to Kansas. Madeline was still in the city with the boys and she wanted you back there quickly and in no uncertain terms. You tried to get her to come here, and finally you were all set that day to go back to her and the boys, had she not come here.”

“Yes, I felt I should be with my family, even if I wanted to stay here. They weren’t coming here, so I had to go back there. Separating the family would have been wrong. Willie felt the same way and he did what he had to do when the time came.”

Jacob continued, “Sometimes that neat and tidy perfect outcome we all like to see, the dream coming true and the happily ever after, doesn’t always look quite like that, does it? Sometimes it’s filled with heartache and pain and sadness. It may get reshaped and changed to look a lot different, but the dream is usually still there underneath it all. It lives on until it is realized in one form or another. It’s who we are, a very part of us.”

And then, “I reckon I’m a bit too on in years to fret over myself. My boy has to live his life and not stay saddled to me for all of it. You know it’s funny Betty Lou. I used to blame myself and now it’s still about my own selfishness. Guess we don’t change too much over the years do we? Why in the world, have you stood by me all these years?”

“Well, Jacob,” Betty Lou replied, “Reckon we don’t change too much over the years. And reckon that’s why I’ve stood by you. ‘Cause I’ve loved you all these years.”

Jacob took Betty Lou’s hand in his as they took the dusty road back toward home.

Previous Episodes of My Whole World
And Just Like That, Everything’s Changed. Episode 1.
Feeling a Glimmer of Hope. Episode 2.
Uncertain About Everything. Episode 3.
“Don’t Forget Me Dad.” Episode 4.
The Weight of Jake’s Letter. Episode 5.
Months Go By. Episode 6.
Time to Act. Episodes 7 & 8.
Leaving. Episode 9.
Moving Forward. Episode 10.
I’ve Been in Your Shoes. Episode 11.
Meeting John Devan. Episode 12.
Remembering. Episode 13.
Finally, Word from Decatur. Episode 14.
Life Goes Full Circle. Episode 15.