From Denmark: An Apology to the American People.
Today, an unreserved—and, some might argue, decidedly uncharacteristic—apology is in order from this end, directed squarely at the American public.
We were sitting over here in the old, comfortable part of Northern Europe with our neat little welfare societies, thinking—well, let’s just call a spade a spade—that you had simply gone raving, clinically insane.
We thought you had lost your butter cookies so emphatically that the cookie tin itself was barely recognizable
But with yesterday’s midterm elections, where the Democrats cleaned house, sat heavily on both chambers, and left the infamous orange chocophant in a puddle of his own self-pity, you proved something else entirely.
You proved that you aren't idiots after all.
You simply love pushing boundaries! You are global politics’ answer to a bunch of overconfident arsonists, just needing to see exactly how close you can hold the Zippo to the gas can before the whole damn thing blows up.
You love playing with fire, dragging out the agony, and pushing the nation's survival to the absolute bleeding edge—only to, in the very last, palpitation-inducing second, draw a razor-sharp line in the sand and say: "This far, and no further."
And suddenly, the pieces fall into place. It is precisely that madman mentality that ensures it’s you, and not a bunch of conflict-averse Scandinavians wearing bicycle helmets, who put the first man on the moon.
That is why it's you who smash world records and constantly hurl new, absurd, and innovative inventions at the rest of us.
It requires a people like you; so uninhibited and shamelessly boundary-pushing that you are willing to drive your own nation straight toward the abyss in a flaming clown car, solely to feel the rush in your stomach before yanking the emergency brake.
It isn't political collapse; it is grand-scale avant-garde art.
We bow down in the dust to your completely erratic, yet deeply entertaining, performance art.
You are forgiven, the whole lot of you, because goddamn do we love you
Cheers, sweet friends!
Please note: This is a meme that has circulated on social media around the world. It is meant to be humorous. It is NOT real!!!
