Father's Day. Whatever it takes. I can handle it.

Jun 16

Jun 16 Father's Day. Whatever it takes. I can handle it.

“Whatever it takes. I can handle it.”

My husband and I met and fell in love six years ago, and as the saying goes, when you know, you know. And so having a hunch that ‘this group must somehow form a family’ (he has three daughters, I have three sons) we set about taking on the challenge of raising a blended family. The boys are now ages ten, eleven and thirteen, and the girls are fifteen, and twin seventeen year olds. We (affectionately) refer to our kids as The Six Pack, and we (equally affectionately) refer to our tribe as The Shit Show. That’s not to say that it’s shitty, by the way. Sure, there are the obvious challenges and bumps in the road that come with raising kids - but multiply that times six, each of whom are navigating their own journey through divorce, remarriage, and young adulthood.

Logistically speaking, some days, especially when they were younger, it has felt like we were living in a circus tent and in the middle of some everyday chaos I would literally start humming circus music. But from our adult perspective, I don’t believe a week has ever gone by that Denny or I didn’t say to the other, “I love our life!” Our kids are all truly extraordinary people and they make us proud every day with their grades, their athletics, their work ethic and their integrity. So is it hard? Hell yes! Let me tell you, we are not well-rested people. But every really hard day has come back to us six-fold in joy and laughter.

But it’s Father’s Day, not kid’s day (aka “Everyday,” am I right?) So let’s cut to the other night while I was rubbing a knot out of my husbands back. (Incidentally, besides being our ringleader, he is also the police captain of our city.) By now I pretty well know the exact spots where his stress hides and he knows mine, so we take turns at night massaging them out because 1. Though we both occasionally see a professional (props to Suzy at Tantra Spa) we legitimately do not have time for weekly masseuse visits. 2. Even if we did, that weekly bill would be competing with violin lessons, camps, teenage driver insurance (dear Lord), over-priced travel soccer uniforms and the list goes on… So anyway, right as I started to lean into Denny’s really sore spot on his back I realized that I may be using too much pressure so I asked, “Is that too much?” His reply was, “Whatever it takes. I can handle it.” And though I kept massaging that stubborn knot, mentally I paused and thought, that’s it. That is this man’s motto as a father - whatever it takes, I can handle it. He has lived that sentence every single day that I’ve known him in order to give our six kids the life they deserve and have earned.

And so to all the men out there - you fathers, step fathers, or whatever title your role in a child’s life may occupy, that is what makes you amazing and worthy of so much more than a day on a calendar. Those of you who can ‘HANDLE WHATEVER IT TAKES’ to be what you need to be - for your family or for the special children that you influence and inspire, we applaud you and we salute you! Many times it is because of your sacrifices that extraordinary children are given opportunities that allow them to even begin to believe that they are extraordinary in the first place and go on to become adults who change the world. Happy Father’s Day, gentlemen.

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Nicole Emmi

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” - William Wordsworth

Though my twenty-year-old self would never have believed it, these days I am (at least in part) a sentimental, suburbanite, soccer mom. That means I’m awash in the wonder, challenge and hilarity involved in raising three boys and preparing to launch them out into the world. I’m also the lucky wife of the best man I’ve ever known, Dennis, and step-mother to his three teenaged daughters. So while I’ve always been passionate about writing and have done so in various forms and outlets throughout my life, the current ‘breathings of my heart’ center around my role as Carol Brady to our blended family. (No, we don’t have an Alice. Yes, I wish we did - mostly for laundry, and perhaps the occasional pot roast served with a side of simple, sage advice.)

Simultaneously, ‘Mr. Brady’ and I are both working full time (he in law enforcement, I in the dental field) and also focusing on what we’d like to be busy with once our brood has flown the nest. For me, the answer unquestionably involves writing. I am currently chipping away at my first novel and have already made copious notes on it’s sequel. I look forward to someday having the time to flesh out all of my ideas! I’d also like to return to travel writing at some point. In the meantime, I’m content to just enjoy the journey. Busy family life provides me lots of food for thought and writing inspiration. Sometimes it’s comical, sometimes (way) less so, but it is always an new adventure. And as it turns out, the passion, conviction and sentiment involved in being a parent is terrific fuel for the creative process.

When I’m not playing chauffeur, chef, maid and child psychologist to our “six-pack,” I try to take the advice of author Joseph Campbell to ’follow your bliss’ - those things that make you, as he puts it, “feel the rapture of being alive.” Besides writing, I tend to find my bliss in things like meditation, macro photography, hiking and backpacking, volunteerism, and traveling with my husband - preferably somewhere I can bury my feet in warm sand and sit by the ocean.