Musings & Threads. The Apple Store Goes Bananas.
THE APPLE STORE GOES BANANAS.
I’m in the Apple store.
I love the Apple store. I feel nothing can wrong in the Apple store.
Sad to say, that’s about to become another burst bubble.
But let me begin at…the beginning.
I’m approached by an Assistant who clearly ate something sour for breakfast.
Clutching my new (red) iPhone, I tell her it needs a check-up.
Do I have an appointment? Gulp. I forgot to make one.
Well, she says, you’ll have to come back with an appointment.
No way, Jose.
I ask to speak to the manager, who kindly puts me on the appointment list.
(It must have been Be Kind To Gray-Haired Women Day.)
He hands the iPhone to the Assistant, who gives it to a Specialist, who then takes it to the Genius brigade, who sit behind closed doors.
I take a seat, well a stool actually, and wait.
I wish I had a book with me, a real book, with real pages.
Although that may constitute a crime in the Apple store.
I continue to wait.
Finally, I tap the broad shoulder of a Specialist and explain my plight.
He looks at his iPad, and shares what he’s looking at:
We’ve held your place in line at the Genius Bar.
You’ll get a message when it’s almost your turn.
Reply “1” to cancel at any time.
(I can’t get a message, you have my phone.)
We’re almost ready for you at the Genius Bar.
Please let a Specialist know when you’re here.
(Hey guys, I’ve been here for almost an hour.)
Only reply to request a later session or to cancel it.
Reply “2” for 30 minutes later, “3” for 60 minutes later, or”1” to cancel.
(Gentlemen, gentlemen pay attention, you have my phone!)
You haven’t checked in, so we had to move on to other customers.
If you need help, talk to a Specialist.
(You have my phone! You have my phone! You have my phone!)
The Specialist retrieves my (red) iPhone.
And I leave, thinking that not every Genius lives up to the name.