Life, Loss and Soldiering On
Life, Loss and Soldiering On. A Tribute to Filomena Dorothy DiLorenzo, Mommie, Who Always Did.
In Our Hearts Still, Always Will
My mother died, the one I fancied would live forever because she was so healthy and resilient, got sick and died. I took care of her until the end came, made sure she ate every day, kept her safe, hope I made her feel loved. She had always been active, done things, taken care of my sister and me, and then all of a sudden it seemed, she got sick and couldn’t do any of those things anymore. For the first time in her life, she was dependent upon someone else for almost everything, every single day. It became a prison to her, her freedom lost, all fun and happiness that her life had held was gone. Oh she fought what was happening to her, I will get past this and be better again don’t worry, what is happening to me?!, when I feel better again I will go back to doing so and so. The day came when she realized no matter how hard she fought or how hard she willed it, she would never get better. And when that realization set in, she didn’t want to live on this earth anymore, her fight was gone. When the end came, it came so quickly! Agitation, fright, perhaps like a time or two before, but this time her face and lips were gray and she wanted me to stay by her. I rubbed her forehead, she nodded that she liked that when I asked her, and I held her hand, her grip still strong, and then in a matter of seconds she was gone. The paramedics came and got her heart started again, but she did not regain consciousness, and in the emergency room of the hospital her heart stopped again and it was over.
The sweetest, dearest, most selfless person I ever knew was gone from this world forever. There will never be another like her. I’m sure every life she touched with her care and her happy smile was changed forever. She gave up her life for my sister and me and we will miss her terribly until we are back together again, the three musketeers (or stooges!) as in the good old days, in a new place we will call home. Mommie, we love you very, very much and always will, you dear sweet little thing.