Musings & Threads. Warning: DON'T DO IT.

Advice Regarding Verizon Enabled, Remote, Robotic, Life-Saving Surgery--Warning:  DON’T DO IT!!!

Have you seen those new commercials from Verizon—an ambulance is in a remote location, and then suddenly a state-of-the-art surgical center is remoted in to a community hospital operating room, and Verizon enabled, robotic, life-saving surgery is taking place? 

Warning:  DON’T DO IT!!!

I offer this advice because I am concerned that potentially their communications systems are not quite up to the task.  Let me tell you a story about an experience I had just recently.  

I received a voicemail on my Verizon landline asking me to call them regarding the “status of my account.”  I knew I had paid the bill online, as always, and I thought, well, the payment and the call probably crossed paths.  But then I got to thinking, what if the payment hadn’t been received from my bank. Wow. I should really check into this. I admit I am a bit of a worrier.

So first, I had to locate the number to call on my bill. Hidden away (clearly they don’t want any calls from dumb landline users) let’s call that my first ordeal.  Next, I have to enter in my phone number, verify it with my account number, then state the reason for my call.  Check status of account I say, using their exact language.  Static on your line? the auto-lady asks. No, I say - and then she says okay - I’ll transfer you to tech services. 

Oh boy. I’m starting to feel another ordeal coming on. I get a tech services representative who isn’t very techy at all, since he can’t even get me back to customer service without a very long wait time, he informs me.

I ask him if there is an automated line he can transfer me to just to check my account? Or if he could check my account? No.  And no.  But, he finds me an automated matrix and he does transfer me to it.  It tells me I have these options: make a payment, verify a payment, schedule a payment. I choose… to verify a payment.  But first, but first, I have to re-enter my account number, which I do, then the automated response system tells me there are no payments to verify on this account. My eyes begin to squint as I feel a headache coming on.

But, of course, being me, I’m determined to get to the bottom of this which will require me starting over by calling Verizon customer service. I remember the long queue tech-guy told me about (and with this great service, why am I not surprised) so I decide the smart thing is to wait and call back in an hour.

And I do. The wait time is only 2 minutes! Hallelujah!  This time, when I am prompted through all the steps, the auto lady says to me - I see you called recently for tech services, do you need to be transferred to that department?  Loudly I hear myself say NO! Followed quickly by “cus-to-mer ser-vice rep-re-sen-ta-tive” enunciating as clearly as humanly possible. The auto-lady seems very annoyed with that request, and says something snarky like, you have to say something other than customer service representative, so we can get you to a person who can help you. So I say billing. She says she will transfer me.

Then a really nice customer service representative gets on, and I tell her the reason for my call. And she says, oh yes, we show the electronic payment made and processed. That was a courtesy call. Thank you for the call, I say - instead of saying what I am really thinking. 

I am telling you this story because, to go back to the beginning, I think that maybe we should all consider not getting that Verizon communications enabled, remote, robotic, life-saving surgery just yet.